1.
Eat at the Sweet Shop Café and Grill, home of
slap-‘yo-Mama-good vittles made fresh from scratch every day. Del Williams
makes the best barbeque in Behr County, and as for his fried chicken—mmmwah!
It’s a religious experience. His lovely wife, Miz Vi, concocts a chocolate pie
that will melt in your mouth, piled high with homemade meringue, the fluffy,
white peaks lightly toasted under the broiler to sugary perfection. But look
out if you see a demon hunter amongst the diners. Demon hunters can’t handle
their chocolate. Get a Dalvahni demon hunter drunk on chocolate and look out.
2.
Visit the Kut ʾN Kurl and get your hair ‘did. ’
Jeannine carries a full line of Fiona Fix-it products that work magic on your
hair. No, really. Magic. These
products are fae-tastic.
3.
Stop by Flowers by Adara and say hey to Addy, the owner. Pay no
attention to the tall, dark and handsome hunk of a demon hunter glowering in the
corner. That’s just Brand. I’m not kidding. Pay no attention to him. Brand is Addy’s
husband, and she’s the tee-nin-siest bit jealous. Put the move on Brand, and Addy
will open up a can of Behr County whoopass on you.
4.
Swing by Corwin’s Serenity
Chapel and check out the action. Find out the latest gossip while mumbling
politely over the dearly departed. Funerals are BYOSC: bring your own solo cup.
There’s always someone in the back parking lot with a cooler of beer and a
bucket of fried chicken or a ham sammich to share. The funeral parlor has
always been the place to find out what’s going on. For instance, did you hear
about Shirley Farris? That old philandering husband of hers died and she
removed his mister to keep him from messing around on her in the afterlife.
5.
On your way out of Corwin’s,
stop by the office and make Miss Bitsy an offer. No, not that kind of offer. Offer to buy
the place. Corwin’s has been up for
sale ever since Shep, Bitsy’s son and Hannah’s sole undertaker, hooked up with an
emotion sucking, intergalactic hoochie mama named Lenora. Bitsy blames Lenora
for Shep’s decision to give up undertaking to follow his muse. Bitsy does not
approve of Lenora or the muse. Lenora
wears a string dress and does the hoochie coochie at the drop of a hat. Ladies
do not wear strings dresses and they most certainly
do not do the hoochie coochie. Ever. (See Rule 12 of the Bitsy Handbook on
Southern Lady-tude). As for the muse,
Bitsy says it’s just a phase Shep’s going through. She hopes.
6.
Run the dunes out at the
abandoned quarry in your pickup truck. But don’t stay after dark. That’s when
the Sand People come out.
7.
Need to locate someone or
something? Visit the Hannah art gallery and say hello to Mr. Collier. Mr. Collier
can find anything with his contrabulator, especially demons. He made the device
himself out of a couple of coat hangers. Interested in cigarette art? Mullet Woman has an Elvis she’ll gladly sell
you. Or maybe you’re interested in a tasteful nude. Shep Corwin has dozens of nekked
pictures of his succubus girlfriend on display. But don’t tell Bitsy. Ladies
don’t pose nekked. (See Rule 23 of the handbook).
8.
Have a drink at Beck’s, a demonoid
dive bar outside of town with a scenic view of the Devil River. Don’t bother
going if you’re not a super. No norms allowed at Beck’s. You’d never find the
place anyway. It’s equipped with a repel spell to keep out unwanteds, and a
bouncer with a nose like a bloodhound. Toby Littleton can smell a norm a mile
away. If you do make it inside, enjoy the music of Beelzebubba, the rockabilly band.
But watch out for the Skinners. Look up the definition of ‘white trash’ in the
dictionary, and you’ll find a picture of a Skinner. They’re shifters and mean
drunks.
9.
Slip inside the sanctuary of
Trinity Episcopal Church and enjoy the beautiful, unearthly music provided by
the church organist, Junior Peterson. Junior is a ghost. He was forced to
relocate when his family home burned to the ground. He’s looking for a new home.
Interested? Make sure you have a grand piano, and that it’s properly tuned. Junior
has a degree from Vanderbilt in music and very
exacting standards.
10. Drive out to Sardine Bridge at midnight and holler Ha-a-zel, three times and a watery ghost
will rise from the creek. But don’t cuss. Hazel can’t abide foul language. Cuss
and she’ll give you an ectoplasmic colon cleanse.
Those are just the highlights.
There’s plenty more to do in Hannah, so y’all come.
Lexi’s books are available at Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com, BooksaMillion.com, indieBound.org, borders.com, or
your favorite retailer. Visit Lexi at her website: www.lexigeorge.com
5 comments:
This is the best and most interesting To Do list that I have seen in a long time, if ever.
A "nice place to visit" then.
the cover book looks great :)
just hope i live in Hannah :D
Lor-dee! That seems to be an interactive
town. (Focus on "active"!) Lots of right
lively folks there. I nearly fell out of
my chair reading about Shirley Farris'
philandering fella and his "fate"! Gotta
read this book, plus the one before, to
catch up with Hannah and its inhabitants!
Pat Cochran
Can't wait to read this one! It's on order, so it should be here in a couple of days. I love, love these books!!
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