Barbara Ankrum: Conquering the Fear

Writers talk all the time about filling the well. And we all need to do it, whether we’re writing or not. Creativity does not thrive in a vacuum, so every now and then, we must leave our writerly cave (or wherever we dwell) and seek the light.

(squinting)

For me, filling the well can mean doing something I love, like gardening, hiking or reading. But often it means getting out of my comfort zone, which is my writing chair behind my computer. Twenty-five years ago, I doubt I would have called that my comfort zone, since writing was new to me then and my scary place. But now, it’s the other things I need to push myself to dabble in. I need to challenge myself all the time to do things that put me on the other side of comfortable, just to see what happens. Often, it’s something bigger that involves being brave, whether I like it or not. (If you’re a reader of mine, you might notice this very theme running through my recent books. Hmmm…)

Change is inevitable, as they say, but I seriously prefer to be leading the change in my life, rather than waiting for change to lead me. When I feel stagnant or stuck, it’s time to look outward and see what needs attention. Because something is out of balance in my life.

One year, many years ago, a friend challenged me to teach at UCLA Extension. He had some juice there and got me an offer. Me? Teach? Pffhhhht! What did I have to teach? Maybe they’ll figure out I’m a fraud!  (Am I the only one who thinks this?) I spent an entire summer quaking, laboriously writing lectures and suffering sleepless nights. How would I talk for three hours a night about…anything, much less writing? Turns out, it was fun. One of the best times of my life, the fifteen years I spent teaching. Time would fly by and my students ended up getting published, winning Golden Hearts from RWA, making the NYT lists. Best of all, I made some of the dearest friends of my life.  So what was I so worried about? That open door looked scary, but was really just an invitation to adventure.

Publishing itself is a leap of faith, sending your book out into the big bad world to be critiqued and possibly rejected. But no one will publish it if it’s under your bed, so…you send it. For years I was published in NY and there was a certain comfort in that. I loved seeing my books on shelves in real stores. But all of that changed, too. The leap into self-publishing is another giant step into the unknown. Would anyone remember me? Would they like my books?  Can I do this on my own?  Again, stepping off into that scary territory with blind faith is frightening. But why not try it? What is there to lose?

This year, it was a big move across country. After spending most of our lives in California, my husband and I moved across country to be closer to our daughter and her family. It was really a leap of faith to go, since our lives were both tied up in Hollywood. But it was also time for a change. Time to see new things, challenge ourselves and really get to know our grandkids. It’s still a pretty new change and so far, we’re happy we made it, though we miss our friends in California. <> But it feels good to be somewhere new, somewhere I don’t know every street. 

And with everything this year, the move, a new grandchild being born, my daughter’s move to a new home, I’m going to manage to get three books out this year, a personal record. My well is full.

I remember the first time I went to try to get my mail from the group mailboxes near our last home. I called my friend who’d owned the home before us to say I didn’t know which mailbox belonged to us. Which one should I stick the key into? He was a gruff Israeli who merely scoffed at my silly call. “Try them all,” he said, “what are you afraid of?”

OMG. Seriously! What was I afraid of? That the lock wouldn’t work?

That silly question has become a running joke between my husband and me. If we find ourselves fearful, or stuck, wondering which way to turn, we often repeat our friend, Yoram’s, admonition. “Try them all! What are you afraid of?”  And then we laugh and know we’ll figure it out.

I’d love to hear what you do to get outside your comfort zone and fill your personal well. Leave a comment and I’ll give away a $10 Amazon Gift Card to one lucky commenter.

Barbara Ankrum’s latest historical western, THE RUINATION OF ESSIE SPARKS, is available at all major ebook retailers. http://amzn.to/1TjpYJK

Speechless by Fiona Lowe

Have you ever been struck speechless? It happened to me 12 days ago at the Romance Writers of America's conference in Anaheim, California. Back in April, my single title, contemporary romance, Boomerang Bride had been nominated for the prestigious Rita award and that in itself was a wonderful shock and delightful surprise.

Over the next few months, I read and enjoyed all the great books that had been nominated in the same section and I was heard to say more than once to my husband, "Oh man, this book is so good, how can anyone possibly choose who wins."

 The thought of winning had never really crossed my radar. The night of the awards, Carina Press staff took me out to dinner to a wonderful Hawaiian Fusion restaurant where I sipped Mai Tai's.  I pretty much floated into the awards ceremony and sat back to enjoy  the night.

When the point of the evening reached the single title contemporary romance category, I had a couple of books in my head that I thought might win and I was keenly listening to romance diva and legend, Linda Howard as she said, "And the winner is..." I was never more stunned when I heard "Boomerang" and then this almighty roar went up and I didn't hear anything much else after that. I think my mouth fell open Then my good friend and date for the night, Alison Stuart was hugging me and Angela James, the executive editor of Carina Press was saying, "We won," and still I don't think I'd managed to say anything at all.

Time seemed to slow down to nothing and then I remembered, as per the instructions at rehearsal earlier in the day, that I had to go up onto the stage. Shock is a funny thing and as I made my way to the stairs, all I could think about was how on earth was I going to get a 12", six pound statue back to Australia!

 "They" say always have a speech ready just in case and a month prior, when my husband had said, "you should write a speech" I had put bullet points on the back of a business card and shoved it in my evening bag. By the time Linda Howard had given me the statue and I got to the lectern I was shaking. My fingers couldn't get the card out of the little pocket so money, lipstick and tissues spilled out onto the podium. I guess I was lucky there wasn't a tampon in there as well!

 I finally pulled the sucker of a card out of the bag and when I saw the bullet points I felt a bit calmer and although I wondered if it was a coherent speech. Apart from saying my eldest son's name first instead of my husband, I think I did okay. Given that I tend to call all the men in my family by the wrong name and have been known to call them by the cat's name,I think I might be forgiven
;-) Once the speech was over I got all wobbly again and was pleased to get back to my seat although I'm not sure I actually let go of the trophy!

 Those few minutes from the announcement until just after the speech are still blurry but I remember the rest of the night...the wonderful congratulations, the photos, the champagne... all of that is totally clear.

 I did manage to get "Rita" home although airport security x-rayed her twice and dusted her for explosives. She is now on pride of place on our mantle. It was and continues to be a wonderful time in my writing career.

I'd love to hear your stories about the moments of joy where you've been struck speechless and I'll give away an eBook copy of Boomerang Bride to one lucky winner.

Fiona Lowe is a Rita award-winning, multi-published author with Harlequin and Carina Press. Whether her books are set in outback Australia or in the mid-west of the USA, they feature small towns with big hearts, and warm, likeable characters that make you fall in love. When she's not writing stories, she's a weekend wife, mother of two 'ginger' teenage boys, guardian of 80 rose bushes and often found collapsed on the couch with wine. A RuBY nominee, you can find her at her website, facebook, Twitter and Goodreads.

Boomerang Bride is available now from Carina Press, Amazon Kindle, Nook and all other online book stores, as well as being available in print in Australia under the MIRA imprint.

 Letting Go With Dr Rodriguez is available from Harlequin.com as well as being on shelf in Australia. Her books can be purchased from  The Book Depository , iBooks and other online shops.