Monday, December 04, 2017

Nicole Locke - A Year of Change

Here we are at the end of 2017, and I still don't know how I feel about it. I can point at nothing truly horrific and yet, I look at this year warily. Like a child does when it's not sure if the thing before it is a friend or foe.

Like that big friendly dog that nipped my hands and then slurped my entire body. Or that balloon that was so shiny...but then popped in my face.

2017 was a big friendly year, and I had moments of sheer joy. Then there were those moments it nipped and popped. When it hurt and scared me, too.

We moved, you see, and even as an adult I wasn't prepared for the full ramifications I would stumble through, but I did learn some things along the way:

1. Inefficiency is your first, last, and middle name. When you move homes you will not be as productive as you were before. That's just a fact of life. Why? Well, there's more to do...more than you can possibly conceive or prepare for.

2.   You are a creature of habit and you don't even know it. Oh, boy was this something I truly fought against. For eleven years, I left my bedroom and turned left, now I'm suddenly turning right. I hadn't driven in over a decade, now I have this vehicle that I'm supposed to park. My earrings can't go in the little tray by the front door,  my t-shirts are hung instead of folded, etc. Everything must have a new place. This, of course, escalates your inefficiency, but also it's jarring. Like having to learn how to breathe differently.

3. You will grieve. Some loss you will expect to hurt like friendships and family. I can't even write that sentence without tearing up.  But some loss you won't expect. Simple things such as certain foods (cheese!), or a way a place smells, or even the ease of a transport system. I miss these little things as well.

4. If you move and you have a husband and two children, points 1,2,3 above will all be amplified by 3x.

5. 'You will make it.' That was one of my grandfather's favourite sayings.  I made it through 2017. It was bumpy and I often got lost or a bit more wary. Other times, I had joy in my heart.

It's that joy I want to carry into 2018. So I intend to embrace the changes, the big friendly dogs and all the popping balloons. That way, I can make it like my grandfather taught, but make it with a happiness that comes not from the absence of inefficiency or grief, but because of it.

I wish you all joy and happiness as well, and thank you for sharing 2017 with me.


Nicole writes the Lovers and Legends historical series for Harlequin. Check out her website and follow her on Facebook , Twitter,  Google+ and Pinterest.'

1 comment:

dstoutholcomb said...

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

May your new normal seem just normal going forward.