When I was a kid, I didn’t know how to dream. I couldn’t see ahead in life and didn’t dare think of a future. Some people I knew had dreams of a knight in shining armor dropping into their lives, while others dreamed of having lots of children in big families filled with love. Even more people I knew had dreams of becoming famous or being the first to do a thing or even of possessing great wealth. Not me. I can’t explain why, but I never wanted to see myself in the future.
Looking back now, it was a strange way to live, and it caused me plenty of problems along the path. I found the love of my life in a chance encounter. I stumbled into being a stockbroker, a job I had wanted for years but never thought I could have. I decided to write fiction on a whim and a promise to give it a try that I made to my dying mother-- after giving up that idea many years before.
I’m not sure what the problem was for most of my life, but maybe it stemmed from being afraid to dream. Afraid to wish for things that might not come true.
When I sat down to plot the story for the fifth book in my Night Guardian series, SHADOW WARRIOR, I decided it was time to write about a woman who is afraid to dream. Lexie Ayze has a much better reason to be afraid of her dreams than most; she’s a medium who sees ghosts in her dreams. But she is also a woman who has allowed life to push her along from one thing to another just like I did. She has always been afraid to wish for things that might not come true.
Lexie does have one important trait in her make-up; a strong desire to do the right thing for her child. At first, she just doesn’t know what’s right. When she finally gives up and allows dreams into her life, everything changes. Lexie learns to go after what she wants. She finds out that improbable goals take risk, hard work and persistence, but she is willing to try.
SHADOW WARRIOR is the intimate story of one woman coming to terms with who she is meant to be…then learning to fight for the man she loves.
Have you always known what you wanted? Or were you more like me? Afraid to wish? Do you have a dream or goal you still haven’t reached? Improbable goals are the best, but they’re also the scariest. What are some of yours?
Looking back now, it was a strange way to live, and it caused me plenty of problems along the path. I found the love of my life in a chance encounter. I stumbled into being a stockbroker, a job I had wanted for years but never thought I could have. I decided to write fiction on a whim and a promise to give it a try that I made to my dying mother-- after giving up that idea many years before.
I’m not sure what the problem was for most of my life, but maybe it stemmed from being afraid to dream. Afraid to wish for things that might not come true.
When I sat down to plot the story for the fifth book in my Night Guardian series, SHADOW WARRIOR, I decided it was time to write about a woman who is afraid to dream. Lexie Ayze has a much better reason to be afraid of her dreams than most; she’s a medium who sees ghosts in her dreams. But she is also a woman who has allowed life to push her along from one thing to another just like I did. She has always been afraid to wish for things that might not come true.
Lexie does have one important trait in her make-up; a strong desire to do the right thing for her child. At first, she just doesn’t know what’s right. When she finally gives up and allows dreams into her life, everything changes. Lexie learns to go after what she wants. She finds out that improbable goals take risk, hard work and persistence, but she is willing to try.
SHADOW WARRIOR is the intimate story of one woman coming to terms with who she is meant to be…then learning to fight for the man she loves.
Have you always known what you wanted? Or were you more like me? Afraid to wish? Do you have a dream or goal you still haven’t reached? Improbable goals are the best, but they’re also the scariest. What are some of yours?
15 comments:
Oh, what I would love to do is go to space, Mars would be lovely, but if I could get my hands on $20 million, then the space station would be just as good. LOL :) That's definitely dreaming big. :)
Lois
LOL is right, Lois! You are definitely dreaming BIG! But big dreams are what got us into space in the first place, so why not dream about going up there too?
I personally get seasick when I ride a farris wheel, so I believe I'll keep my feet solidly on mother earth, thank you! :)
I always knew what I want when I was little like in school I wanted to be the best student and I was. In fact almost everything I wanted I was able to get. But now it's like there are too many factors involved like how bad I want this thing. Is it really something I want or just dreaming of. There's really a whole lot difference between the two things. I have a few goals way too simple than space traveling. But I'm not sure that I want to form these goals or give them details.Perhaps I'm afraid to have a specific thing in mind and not be able to get.
Exactly, Mona. That was how I felt for most of my life. Afraid to want something. But I was even worse than that, I couldn't even picture what it was that I wanted!
I seem to have recovered at last. Now I do have dreams and goals, because I discovered that if you want something badly enough, you can sometimes make it happen. And even if it doesn't happen for you, just the process of trying makes you a better person.
So go with those goals!
Well, the funny thing is, when I first announced that I wanted to be an astronaut when I was 5 years old, there was absolutely no hope of non-astronauts to get to space. Nowadays, it's still a tad bit out of reach, but it's closer to the average person than it was. For the price of an expensive computer, you can go floating around like Steven Hawking did last week. $20 million, trip to the station with an upgrade of I think $5 million or something to go spacewalking. Some bigger price than the 20 million you can have a round the moon trip. It's significantly closer to being the Jetsons, but still have a little bit to go. :)
Lois
Hey Lois, maybe your goal really ought to be getting the 20 million in order to hitch a ride to go up there? :)
Seriously, depending on your age (don't tell me) you should see the prices come down to almost reasonable in your lifetime. So maybe start saving now?
I always love it when people go for the gold with their dreams and goals. One way to get there is to break the big goals down into a series of little doable steps.
Start right away! I look forward to hearing that you were a passenger on the first commercial space ship!
Linda
I always dreamed of finding my Prince Charming,having a family, and living happily every after.
My Prince can be charming, but, he can be a toad sometimes too. lol
And, I've learned the hard way that the dreams I had for my children sometimes aren't the same dreams that they have for themselves (sometimes their's are more of a nightmare for me).
I think I need to be more like your Lexie - and take more chances and risks instead of just waiting for what life hands me.
Risk taking is one of the toughest things we can do in life, Christyjan. Men seem to have an easier time with it than women, but women can learn. Again, it's one of those things you practice by breaking it down into a series of small steps.
Oh, and you pointed out a huge problem with goals--- they have to be your own goals, not goals you have for someone (husband & kids) else. LOL Remember, the only person in this life that you have the power to change is yourself. Trying it with others (kids especially) is just a lesson in frustration.
Hi...Hm...what I have always wanted to do since a kid...I guess to help people, I went through stages that I dreamed of becoming a doctor, teacher and even pharmacist...
Eventually I settle and realized I wanted to be a Psychologist. It is going to take ages, yet I am not going to give up this goal/dream.
=) Liz
P.S. $20 million...space travel sure cost more than an arm and leg...I wonder how long it would be before space travel is as cheap as taking a train (maybe centuries?)
Hey Liz, are you going to school now? Turning your dreams into reality is fantastic! But then I'll bet you've done it before -- at least once -- so why not once again?
Going to space may never be as cheap as the train. Flying in airplances isn't that cheap after decades. But I suspect going to space will eventually be 'reachable' by the masses.
Linda
Oh my dream was to be a reviewer/editor because I love to read. I was lucky in that respect because I now do that for a website. Oh what fun I have! I get to select the books I want to review. They are so many fun authors to choose from! Also, I have been introduced to some new authors which is fun reading different genres.
Michele
Hey Michele, what a great dream! And how wonderful that you get to do it. I had a secret dream as a little girl, but I was too shaky in my expectations of what I could reach. I thought it would be wonderful to make up stories for a living. But I also thought I wasn't good enough in my grammar studies to even give it a try. So that dream stayed buried for most of my life.
I finally made that dream come true, and now I find there are other dreams that have remained buried.
Have you found new dreams or goals buried within you too? I hope so. Life is so much better when we can dream -- and dream big!
Linda
This is a wonderful subject! I love reading about everyone's dreams. I have been blessed with a husband, two wonderful children, and career as a nurse. I have had dreams realized, but I still have a couple waiting in the wings. I would love to own a bookshop. I think that would be grand! I also would like to get fit enough to run a full marathon (this is definitely a long term goal lol).
I can understand owning a bookstore as a dream. It sounds wonderful! And I wish I was like you and could dream about a marathon, but I have to force myself to walk everyday and running feels out of the question! So boy do I envy you. My life would be so much better if running was one of my dreams! :)
Right now, one of my big dreams is for a much bigger house! (my books are running me out of this one) But that dream seems far, far away. Still, it's on my list and I am setting out steps to reach the goal!
Linda
I too found myself hesitant to think about the future. I hate the question: "Where do you see yourself five years from now?" But is this due to the lack of a dream. Maybe. Oh, I have my dreams: writing a book, traveling the globe, having a family, children, a little house in Scotland. But I think, what stops my from looking ahead, is the glory of the now. To stop and drink in the splendors of the universe, the cool wind the sweeps across the back of your neck, a gentle caress, the soft pale moonlight illuminating a blue velvet satin sky, a lone bird's song in the dark of night. I could think about the future, plot how to obtain my dreams, but I'd rather let it be a surprise. I'd rather imagine me in the now then imagine myself in the future. If there is one dream, one wish I keep whispering in the silent night, it is to find love.
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