Friday, July 24, 2009

Presents Life Lessons by Caitlin Crews

Earlier this year, I sold my first Presents to Harlequin and fulfilled a life long dream of becoming a romance writer. Hooray! What could be better than writing Presents--yummy alpha heroes and exotic locations, emotional intensity and love love love. Oh yes, and very important Life Lessons.

Here are some things I have learned while writing Presents:

1. How to put my hair into a chignon, like any decent heroine. I feel that this is a life skill, and everyone knows that alpha heroes are attracted to excellent hair. If I could only master the French twist, I feel certain my husband would transform overnight into a Greek shipping magnate or Italianate prince. Wouldn't he?

2. How to wander aimlessly, yet fetchingly. This is very important, especially if while doing so, I am also thinking about the nature of love or, say, the deep emotional conflict that keeps me from melting into my hero's arms. And of course, one never wanders aimlessly about the house, neatening things and/or performing housework. It is much more affecting (and likely to lead to love) to do one's wandering, say, down the Champs Elysées or alongside the cerulean waters of a Mediterranean island.

3. How to have sex while using only euphemisms. The more euphemisms, the better the sex.

4. How to carry on torrid affairs and have desperate emotional low points while clad in the finest of gowns, the more diaphanous the better. Bonus points for tiaras. Triple bonus points if said gown turns into the cover image on a Presents novel.

5. How to fall in love, Presents-style. My husband has asked me to please stop manufacturing emotional conflict with him over dinner, as he finds it interferes with his digestion. But I know the truth: the more outrageous the conflict, the more we will fall in love with each other and the better our happily ever after.

Of course, all of this pales in comparison to what I've learned as a Presents reader. What about you? How have you brought a little Presents into your lives?

Tell me in the comments--and look for my first Presents: Pure Princess,Bartered Bride-- coming next February!


Armenia said...

LOL Caitlin. I just love, love all your life lessons. You made my day, I just could not stop laughing, and my 9 year old came into the office to scold me because my sonic boomn laughter conflicted with her watching Hannah Montana.

Most of my reads are historical and they all seem so dreamy because its so unlike my life. My hubby just rolls his eyes whenever I use euphemisms, hoping that he would catch on to the game and play-act, or at least transform into a desirable rake.

If that doesn't work, then I roll my eyes and tell him to take out the trash. Sigh.

EllenToo said...

Congratulations on your first Presents and I'm sure there will be many more to come. I am laughing out loud at your "Life Lessons". Fortunately there's no one here to hear me.

Michele L. said...

Ha, ha, ha, snort, cough,.... ok, composing myself here. You really know how to make me laugh! Awesome you are!

Harlequins are my favorites not only because of the romance stories but meeting fantastic authors like you! Can't wait to read your new novel!

Lee Hyat said...

Caitlin, loved loved loved your humourous twist on some of the elements I love most in Harlequin Presents! You had me laughing out loud!

Seriously though, I think you've been clever enough to point out some of the things I'm sure many many Presents readers have thought at some point or another but never been articulate enough to actually put into a sentence. :) I think that's probably what puts these stories at the top of my favorites list. Every alpha male is larger than life and everything is classy and sophisticated and totally intense.

Maybe that's why Presents are loved by so many readers in all parts of the world. The fantasy element of the line helps make even the most emotional problems so interesting to live through with the characters -- if that makes any sense.

I can't wait to read your first Presents book!! So excited. :)

Mary said...

I love reading these types of books and you really made me laugh. I'm sure my family thinks I am totally cracked now.

Anna Campbell said...

Caitlin, huge congratulations! I adore Presents - they're like an opera, complete emotional indulgence. I look forward to reading your book.

Your list made me snigger into my morning cup of tea!

Nicola O. said...

Hah, excellent list of lessons. I think you get extra credit if, while doing your aimless wandering, you can also trail your fingers listlessly through water of some sort.

Jane Porter said...

Caitlin, as a Presents author and avid reader of the line, I have to say that your Presents Life Lessons had me grinning.

So many people think writing these books are easy--ha!

Writing Presents heroes and passion, conflict and tension gives me fits and puts me in knots and I know its the same for you as I've read ypur first Presents (its incredible, too!!!) and I know how hard you worked to make all that intense emotion and dark passion appear effortless. You've written a classic Presents that readers are going to love and sadly for them, there's none of your wonderful cheeky humor in it. Just a wounded alpha male and a delicious forced marriage and incredible sexual tension.

Bravo on your first book and welcome to the family.