Jennifer Gracen: Transitions

In both my writing life and my personal life, I find myself lately at yet another point of transition. I’ve had to push myself out of some of my comfort zones. And even though I know that I’ll be rewarded with growth and success of several kinds on the other side if I do it, my inner self hates doing it. That inner self alternates between whimpering, grumbling, procrastinating, throwing temper tantrums, and having full blown anxiety.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

Why do we let fear hold us back, even when we KNOW the outcome will be to our benefit?

In my writing life, it’s been trying a new angle of writing. Writing some scenes in a way I haven’t before. The character in question demanded it. I had to go to a place with him that I haven’t in prior books. And it’s scary, because writing is such a personal art. Even though it’s the character saying and doing these things, not me, there’s still that aspect of feeling like I’m putting myself out there for everyone to see, naked and vulnerable.

In my personal life, I’m job hunting. Long story short, after being a SAHM and also working from home doing freelance, it’s not enough anymore. I haven’t worked a typical office job in fifteen years. So, it’s more of the putting myself out there, feeling vulnerable, all of that... it’s damned uncomfortable, and it’s a process that can really get me down sometimes.

I recognize that in both pursuits, there’s a fear of failure. Not just failure, either, but failing in spectacular fashion, with images of going down in flames over the side of a cliff as I freefall into choppy, shark-ridden waters. That fear is what makes the inner voice do all those yucky things and makes me twist and whine and, and... And ultimately it doesn’t matter, because I have to do these things. Period, end of story.

We all do.

 

Yes, pushing out of comfort zones brings growth, strength, and goodness. We know this. But it’s really hard. Because we are hardest on ourselves, and change is scary.

So I figured I’d talk about it. Hearing that others endure these growing pains and whispering doubts, to know someone else is struggling with it too, maybe makes someone feel not so alone as they go through something similar. Maybe it’s you. So...

Okay. Strapping my sword and shield back on. I got this. You got this. See you on the other side, fellow warrior.

Maggie Jaimeson: What Shall I Be When I Grow Up?

Today is my 60^th birthday. Yes, I have actually been on this earth that long, though I think in my mind I’m still about 28. My body begs disagree, but it is my mind that counts.  When I look back on my life I have been pretty blessed. I’ve enjoyed at least three careers—computer programming and IT management, teacher and academic executive, and now full time author. I love learning and I’ve done it through education and travel and lots and lots of reading—both fiction and non-fiction.

One of the great benefits of being an author is that I am always learning—learning about my characters, learning about the craft of writing, and learning about the people and places and cultures and decisions that impact my characters and their stories. I get to vicariously live many lives through my characters, and most important I get to control the final outcome to be what I want it to be. I get to create a happily ever after no matter what tortuous journey my characters have undertaken.

All of my stories are some reflection of me. I can’t help but do that. It doesn’t mean I’ve personally lived those lives, but I believe our human experiences of grief and joy and discernment are universal no matter the country, the culture, or even a different world than earth. Often the lives of my characters are ones that I dreamed I could have for myself, but never had the guts or the time or funds to pursue them. For example, in my Sweetwater Canyon series I follow five women in an Americana band. I played piano and violin as a child and into high school and college. I had dreams of being in a band, but I never pursued it as a career. I couldn’t imagine supporting myself as a musician even though I often dreamed of it.

In my Forest People fantasy series, my young adult heroine not only has to figure out who she is and what her gifts are, but she has to save not one world but two. And she is only sixteen! I can remember being a teenager and feeling like the world was on my shoulders. I was bound and determine to make a difference and to do the right thing. Figuring out how to do that is really the journey of moving from young adult to adulthood.  I’ve learned that most of us re-evaluate that journey at every decade in our life. My path at 25 was not the same as my path at 40, and now at 60 there is even more that I want to accomplish in my life.

In my new romantic suspense Shadow Finders series, my Marine Corps buddies are backed up by the women who love them. They take on truly evil people, corporations, or governments to save those who are forgotten or lost. Though I grew up at a time when women in combat or as police officers or other typical male roles was not at all common, I still fantasized about being a big hero—whether that was as an EMT or a mercenary or my version of superman as a woman. Yes women can kick butt too, but I would do it with less violence and more thoughtful and permanent changes. Shadow Finders allows me to explore the tension between violence and peace and change while still believing that love conquers all.

What were your dreams for your future? Do you still have some of those dreams? Have your dreams changed over the years? If so, in what way?

Because this is an important birthday for me, I’m giving away a free fiction ebook of your choice. Anyone who answers my question about your dreams for your future can choose any ONE of my currently available fiction titles in the ebook format you desire.

Go to http://maggielynch.com to read more about each of my books. Choose one that appeals to you. Complete this form and I’ll send you the book of your choice.

Happy Reading!

After more than 30 years in careers including software development and training, distance learning, and executive leadership in academic computing, Maggie decided to follow her first love and pursue writing full time. She writes adult fiction in romance and SF under the name Maggie Jaimeson, young adult fiction under the name Maggie Faire, and non-fiction under the name Maggie Lynch. You can find all of her books at http://maggielynch.com