Lori Handeland: 10 Myths About Writing

Like almost author I’ve ever met, I began life as a voracious reader. As a kid, my teachers asked me to “please quit doing book reports.” I did at least three times as many reports as everyone else--and those were only of the books I felt were worthy.

In the summers I’d ride my bike to the library and have a hard time getting all the books I checked out home on the bike. I made lists (still do!) of the books I’ve read with a colored check mark to reveal what I thought of them.

I read every “how to write” book I found, every writing magazine, every article on authors I could find. I loved hearing about how they did what they did. And still, I didn’t have a clue about how things worked in this business.

Here are 10 myths about being a writer that I discovered once I became published:

1. The books featured on the covers of the review magazines receive that exalted space because they are “the best.” (They're paid for.)

2. Author quotes are completely unbiased. (They're usually given by friends, or requested by an author's editor or agent.)

3. Professional writers make so much money they can quit their day jobs and their night jobs too. (The majority of professional writers do not earn a living wage. They do this "on the side.")

4. Once an author breaks into the publishing industry, they’re in for good. (Every book is judged for its own merit.)

5. Authors are instant celebrities. (There is not instant in publishing.)

6. Oprah will call. (She won't. Stop waiting.)

7. The books on the displays at the front of the bookstore are “the best.” (This is also paid for.)

8. Don’t worry about grammar or spelling; that’s what an editor does. (If an editor receives a submission that is poorly written, she stops reading. She barely has time to read it; she isn't going to correct it too.)

9. Your checks will arrive on time. (Do checks ever arrive on time?)

10. Once you’re published, rejections are a thing of the past. (I received more rejections AFTER I was published than I ever did before.)

And here are 10 things about being a writer that make every busted myth irrelevant.

1. The call (I will always remember October 5, 1993 at 12:05. Always.)

2. When you see your cover for the first time. (This is actually cool EVERY single time no matter how many books you write.)

3. Gushing editors (This never get old.)

4. Your book on a shelf in the bookstore. (I still take pictures.)

5. Reader letters (They make everything better.)

6. Writing Friends (I have very few friends who aren't writer friends anymore. They understand.)

7. Writing Conferences (PARTY!)

8. Making any money at all for something you’d do for free. (Don’t tell!)

9. Being able to say, “I’m a writer,” when asked what you “do.” (The expressions on people's faces are priceless.)

10. The book, the book, the book. (Every one is different. With every one I learn something new. I can lose myself there always.)

What are your favorite things about writing and reading? Any myths you'd like to bust for us now?

And speaking of myths--how about the Loch Ness Monster?

Next week look for a copy of my latest paranormal romance MOON CURSED (March 1, 2011) where I take a whole new look at that famous Scottish legend.

In MOON CURSED Kristin Daniels is passionate in her pursuit of the truth. As the host of the television show Hoax Hunters, she’s traveled to the ends of the earth to explore—and expose—life’s most enduring myths. Her latest undertaking is no exception: Kris is bound for Scotland, where she intends to get to the bottom of the Loch Ness Monster legend once and for all. Instead, Kris encounters something far more mysterious... For in the ruins of the lake’s Urquhart Castle lies a heavenly creature—a sleek, muscled man with a seductive brogue named Liam Grant. One look into his eyes and Kris is already in danger of falling in too deep. Is Liam for real? Or has the spell of the moon touched them both?

What's the Unattraction? - Lori Handeland

I like a hot guy as much as the next woman. What’s not to like? However, over the years I’ve discovered that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, especially when it comes to the covers of romance novels.

There are several instances where I’ve pointed to the hero one of my covers and said, “Ew!” while readers point to him and say, “Ooooh!” So I’ve learned that my idea of hot and the next woman’s is not exactly the same.

When writing a romance novel, one of the usual requirements is a hot hero. Not that writers haven’t written books with so called “ugly” guys. I did it myself in a Superromance originally titled Skin Deep, which became, thanks to the powers that be, A Sheriff in Tennessee. Of course Gabriel Klein had a whole lot more going for him than his face. Most guys do.

I also remember one early Karen Robards novel where the hero was unattractive. I can’t remember the title (anyone?) but I do remember that I thought it was clever, original and exciting.

I always try to make my heroines read like real women with the same body issues and insecurities we all have. The heroine in A Sheriff in Tennessee might be a former supermodel, but boy does she have issues.

So today I’d like to celebrate the every day guy. I’ve never been attracted to Brad Pitt, even before the whole Angelina fiasco. Tom Cruise smiles too much. His teeth are blinding. Johnny Depp ruined everything with those tattoos. Okay, okay—Antonio Banderas can come over any time. I’m not a complete idiot.

But here are some of my favorite unattractive attractive guys. Who are yours?

Brett Favre—how can you resist that smile? Those biceps? The scruffy gray beard that matches the stubble on his head? And his great big hands—all hacked up, crooked, re-broken fingers. Now that’s a man!

Adrien Brody-What a nose! Gotta love it. And that skinny body? Mmmm.

Gary Oldman-Probably in his 50’s, with the body to show for it. Non descript in every way, until he comes on the screen and then he is magic. Even in terrible movies (The Scarlet Letter anyone?) he shines. I want to take him home and just listen to him talk.

Dustin Hoffman-too short, big nose, annoyingly nasal voice, but I’ve been crazy about him since I saw him in Little Big Man when I was a kid. And come on, in The Graduate he was adorable. He also makes a pretty decent woman in Tootsie. Much better looking than say . . . Mrs. Doubtfire.

Seth Green—really short, red hair, kind of slouchy. But when he played Oz on Buffy I nearly got over my Angel fetish (not really). He was so sweet and shy, so dead pan funny, and he had that werewolf thing going on. Right up my alley.

So, any theories out there? What’s the unattraction?

Lori

http://www.lorihandeland.com/

If you'd like to check out Lori's hot hero's she has two novellas available in two separate collections this month:Cobwebs over the Moon in Moon Fever (the hero bears a striking resemblance to Brett Favre) and Voodoo Moon in No Rest for the Witches (with a voodoo priest who could step in as Antonio Banderas in Interview with a Vampire)Her next Nightcreature Novel will be Thunder Moon in January 2008.