I attended an author event for my friend, Kimberly Belle's new release, Dear Wife, a few days ago at FoxTale Book Shoppe in Woodstock, GA.
She was in conversation with my other friend, Emily Carpenter, another suspense/thriller author. The book is fantastic and I highly recommend it to everyone. But I bring this up because, during the course of author conversation, Emily remarked on how well Kimberly had written the main male character's point of view in the book. The discussion was a good one.
I've written men's points of views (POV) in all my books so far and find it to be a fun challenge. Obviously, women writing as men can only do our best to nail the thought processes and actions that drive another sex. Men and women often think and act differently because of our biology, along with other factors we set up in our stories.
Obviously, there's a huge variation in the range of men's behavior and personalities, same as women. Not all men are the same. No two people are the same. Hormones, nature and nurture, and straight-up genetics determine humanity and how a person behaves. Every character is unique.
This isn't a "women good, men bad" post. Just some things I've picked up over time.
There are some behaviors in the male characters I've written, both alpha and beta that I've taken from the males I've known in my life. These often differ from the women I've known. Keep in mind, I'm talking about behaviors, some very subtle, some not. They might even be considered stereotypes, but only for showing purposes. When writing, this is meant to be nuanced and subtle, and very specific to each character. This is my experience and opinion, so no need to take offense...
These are sliding-scale societal norms that seem to be changing lately. But not completely yet:
*Men often are confident in their opinions, decisive, or they make people believe they are.
*Women tend to go through the minutia of each idea and feeling. Men feel the feelings and have the thoughts, though in a less expansive way. They ask why less and wonder less about their role in how it all started. They are more about how to fix it.
*Men are less inclined to show outward emotion or cry. Often show emotion or sadness as anger.
*Men can be goal-oriented and see things in a less-complicated way. Women tend to worry about all the things in between: everyone's feelings and emotions, the pitfalls, the possibility of failure. We worry about everything and everyone. Men often have an over-simplified view of getting to the solution then but get mired in the mess along the way.
*Often turn away from others when in need of comfort or emotional support. Women, in general, turn to friends and family for comfort.
Emily told Kimberly she had a mean man inside of her, which made us all laugh. As I'm reading the novel, Dear Wife, I now see what she meant. The male character in the book is a bad guy. This guy is flawed, angry, and has abused his wife for years. Kimberly is none of those things, but she's done an excellent job in persuading the reader that she knows this man.
I hope all the readers out there appreciate how much time and effort their favorite authors put into making their novels authentic. Writing outside sex and culture takes an extensive amount of research and work to get right. We don't take it lightly and don't just throw in "stereotypes" and hope it works out.
I did work out some basic male stereotypes to give examples of the differences of writing male and female characters but it's far more nuanced when done right. I hope I do it right.
And I hope you all have a wonderful Fourth of July holiday!!
Susan Sands
