by Joanne Rock
I’m clearing out my home this month as I’m contemplating a
move. I’ve got furniture for sale to thin down what I own, and I’m dragging
boxes out of storage to get rid of everything I don’t need. It’s so much tougher
than it sounds.
Last week, I assured one of my sons that I wanted to get rid
of everything I had boxed up in the attic. I figured if I didn’t look at it, I
couldn’t get sucked into nostalgia or into thinking I might need something
again. I had a vague idea that the paperwork was all from former jobs before I
started writing romance. There were graduate school papers up there too, work
that I’m proud of but since I probably won’t re-enter the academic world, it’s
nothing I’ll need. Yet I feared that if I started looking through the boxes, I’d
find things I wanted to keep. Sentimental memories of trips taken, friends that
I don’t see anymore, you know the drill. So I gave an executive order to toss
it all.
A few hours later, my son came downstairs with a photo of
his brother as a toddler, the cutest picture imaginable. He said, “Are you sure
you don’t want to check in the boxes first?”
There went my resolve! I had to dig through the old things,
fearing I might throw away something vital. Yes, it ended up taking hours of my
time, but it was really fun to walk down memory lane. I found photos from
graduate school and remembered fun classes I took with people I haven’t seen in
eons. A photo of a bear that I apparently saw in person in the Smoky Mountains
and have no memory of. How could I forget photographing a bear in a tree? On
the back of the photo, I wrote in ink, “The infamous bear!” Well apparently he
was only infamous briefly as I’d
forgotten all about him.
Thankfully, I did end up throwing away most of the box.
Brilliant essays gone forever! All my carefully archived press releases written
for my first job. All my memories from the time as a TV promotions director—in the
recycle bins now. It would be easier if I could tell myself that I’ll always
have the memories in my head, but if the bear is any indication, I actually don’t
have a good mental record of the past! Maybe I should be glad that my life has
been so wonderfully full I simply can’t recall all of it.
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