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Thursday, August 27, 2009

The Night Around Me - Jessica Inclán





Back in the days of babies, I used to find myself up in the most silent time of night, sitting on a couch or chair, nursing a baby. Then I would change the baby, rock the baby, and put the baby to sleep. During the day, I would rue this late night upness, but at the time, baby in my arms, the night silence surrounding me,nothing but the baby and me in the world, I loved this quiet time together with my child. From 2 to 3 or 3 to 4, there we both would be in the stillness of the house.

Well, I'm up again from 2 to 3 or 3 to 4 (sometimes from 2-4) but there is no baby. There is nothing but me and my upness, some new nightmarish hormonal twist of fate awakening me from a deep sleep and keeping me awake, an alertness that no glass of milk will quell.

This time is familiar and known, and the silence is here just as it always was, but I'm alone now. The tasks I can perform are not about a child but about my work. The to-do list for the next day is there, and I dip into it, moving through a couple of items before heading back to the bedroom for sleep, round two.

So I write a little bit. Sometimes I read. I write a blog. I read a student's work. During all, my mind seems alert and focused, something I would never imagine possible. I don't like the sound of "Two in the morning." "Three in the morning" is almost a swear word. Sadly, "four in the morning" almost sounds normal as I often make my way down to bed as my boyfriend Michael is getting up for the day. We pass each other on the stairs, he headed for the office, me headed for unconsciousness.

I wonder if I will look back at these nights with the same fondness that I do with those hours spent with my babies. Will I be an old woman, thinking about the nights I spent with myself, writing and reading and thinking? Perhaps I will imagine that holding my own life in my arms was as endearing as holding those tiny babies, the night around me, the time as full of growth and wonder as all those years before.


video

11 comments:

penney said...

This sounds great I like the video. Thank you
Penney

Jessica Barksdale Inclan said...

Thank, Penney!

Best,

J

cheryl c said...

That's one of the best book videos that I have seen! I love the way the music sets the mood.

BTW, if I am up at 2 a.m. or later, it is because I am reading a book that I can't put down. (This frequently happens!)

Jessica Barksdale Inclan said...

Thank you, Cheryl. COS makes nice videos. And it was fun work collaborating with them--it was hard to find the leading man!

Yes, reading is fabulous at 2 am!

Best,

J

Mary said...

Great, loved it. Ya know I was actually up until 3am this morning reading a book because I didn't want to put it down. I frequently do that. lol Maybe I should start reading warlier in the day?

Jessica Barksdale Inclan said...

Maybe, Mary, we should just form a book group for insomniacs!

Best,

J

Mary said...

That would definitely work for me. lol Sometimes I think that's why I like the internet, you can always find someone on to talk to at 3 am. lol

gigi said...

I enjoyed the book video.
It is the first one I have watched since I finally got DSL. I never tried to watch them on dial up, that was torture.

Like you my babies are grown and I am suffering with the insomnia that comes with hormonal changes. I have such a hard time falling asleep I usually just give up and get up, do laundry and grab some reading time.
You book sounds like a good book to read on one of these nights.

Jessica Barksdale Inclan said...

Hi, gigi--

I can only imagine what trying to view videoes is like on dial up. I do remember trying to download photos on dialup and it took actual, long minutes!

Here's to all of us getting more sleep, hormones or not!

Best,

J

Michele L. said...

I loved the video Jessica! I love your books too!

The internet is a wonderful thing. I find myself bopping around, reading author blogs, entering contests, then finding new things to look at in the process.

Yes, I am part of the same group to where I can't put a book down and stay up till the wee hours of the morning reading. I just love reading and can't get enough of it!

Jessica Barksdale Inclan said...

Hi, Michelle--

It sounds as though we have a reading group right here! We should pick an insomniatic night and chat!

Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate them.

Best,

J