Life List and Why to Have One

By Jillian Ross (as told to Joanne Rock), heroine of THE FORBIDDEN BROTHER

Long ago, I had heard of “life lists.” Some people called them bucket lists, but that’s simply another term for a list of things to accomplish/see/do in a lifetime. For me, that idea sounded pushy—another way to make me feel like I wasn’t achieving enough in an already packed-full existence.

But after a frightening health scare, I saw a “life list” in a brand-new light.

Maybe it’s because a scary diagnosis cuts through the noise of an average daily to-do list in a hurry. But suddenly, I didn’t feel the same pressure to tackle the spring cleaning or dazzle my boss with overtime. My priorities shifted, and I had a new clarity about how I wanted to spend my time. And it wasn’t working or cleaning.

Enter the life list. Or, in my case, my list of 100 Life Adventures—things I wanted to do, places I wanted to visit, experiences I wanted to have. When you are worried you don’t have much time left, you become more stingy in how you spend it. Now, I started making

travel plans to see the American West. That was a big thing I wanted to do along with watching a sunset on the Mediterranean. But my list is full of little things too. Buy an easel and paint whatever I want outdoors on a sunny day. Pick wildflowers and give bouquets to my neighbors just because. Window shop while wearing big Audrey Hepburn shades. Order the best wine off a menu.

My life list was fun to write because I spent time thinking about moments that would bring me joy.  Even anticipating the moments—visualizing them—brought a kind of joy. It made me realized that focusing on me was overdue. None of us know what tomorrow will bring. So why not live with joy, in search of happiness and new adventures, today?

Ready to try one? Here are my takeaways from writing my list:

Brainstorm long and hard. Don’t just take the first idea that comes to mind. Sure, you can write the first ten ideas quickly, but after that, stop and think about how you can refine them. And once you get past the first handful of ideas, dig deeper. This list isn’t something you write in a day. You come back to it again and again as you are inspired by the world and people around you. What life experiences do you want to have? What adventures have you seen other people undertake that make you wish you could do the same?

No limits. Don’t edit your ideas to fit your budget or lifestyle. Dream big! You can’t achieve your real aspirations if you aren’t honest with yourself about what you want.

Kick fear to the curb. It’s important not to let fear of failure hold you back. No one needs to know about your life list—there’s no judgement! Committing a dream to paper is the first step to making it happen, but you can’t let fear hold you back.

Be specific. Goals are stronger when they are measurable. So while it’s okay to add “make new friends” to your list, it’s even better to spell out ideas for the how and where. “Attend two book clubs at the library and hold meaningful conversations with at least three people” is a goal that gives the “make friends” idea more teeth! Help yourself with actionable steps to guide you toward the goal.

**Photographer and film location scout Jillian Ross tackles two of her goals on her list of Life Adventures when she visits Cheyenne, Wyoming and orders the best wine the local bar (The Thirsty Cow!) has to offer. That scene opens THE FORBIDDEN BROTHER, and sets up the meet between Jillian and local rancher Cody McNeill.

 So... What's the first thing you'd put on your life list? One random poster will receive a copy of Catherine Mann's The Twin Birthright! 

#WriteTip: On Meeting Goals

So it turns out I'm a bit of a procrastinator. This really shouldn't have been a surprise to me because I've always worked well with deadlines - not getting done ahead of deadline, but rushing around and finishing a task at the second that deadline bell rings.

That working well under pressure thing isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it does lead to more stress...and it can take away from the fun parts of my job as a writer. It's hard to enjoy a Facebook party or a conference or an afternoon curled up with a favorite author's new book if I know I've got three days to write 20,000 words.

I've been on a bit of an organizational tear for the past few months. I bought a new planner, I've re-organized my office, I've set up my days according to a plan...and yet there were still times when I didn't meet my goals. At the beginning of this year, I decided to try something in addition to the daily goals and monthly goals: I set progress reminders that ping my phone and email. These reminders, I've found are the key to staying on-task.

Here's how I'm not setting up my planner and organizing my organization:

First, I look at the big picture. I can write a book in 6 weeks, depending on length. So if a book is due
May 13, for example, I know I need to start writing by March 31. That means writing, not research or plotting...the actual writing starts March 31. So I mark both of those days in my calendar like this:



Once I've looked at the big picture, I break down the weeks and days...this is where reminders come in. When I ordered my new planner I intentionally chose one with a vertical layout - my days have big Morning, Afternoon and Evening sections...that doesn't mean I only write in the afternoon or that all evenings are family time. Instead I usually washi over the dividers and set up my days according to Family, School/Errands and Writing. The top (morning) section includes grocery lists or bank runs or stuff at bebe's school. The middle (afternoon) has my daily writing goal, and the bottom (evening) holds movie night stuff or bebe's swimming and choir schedules.

After I've broken out the big goals and the daily goals, I set a couple of reminders. When I'm drafting,

I'll set 2 additional reminders in my online calendar. They are literally 'check progress' goals - I look at my deadline, I look at where I'm at in the book and I figure out what needs to happen each day and week between the reminder and the deadline so that I'm not hopped up on caffeine and not sleeping during the week leading up to deadline. I sometimes write the reminders in my physical calendar, too, but usually I keep the reminders only in my online calendar because my paper calendar gets full just with deadlines and family stuff and school things.

I'll also set reminders about new project research, when I want to get sample chapters of uncontracted work to my agent and things like that.

So far, I'm loving not only my new planner, but the setting reminders addition to my planning - I'm staying on task, I'm more relaxed, and I don't feel guilty for taking a little extra time here and here for myself and my family.

Are you on an organizing kick? What do you do to make sure you meet those deadlines? 

Kristina Knight's new release, Protecting the Quarterback, is available for pre-order now, and

will release May 1, 2016.

This is more than just a game...to her

Sports broadcaster Brooks Smith has always been more involved with the game than the players. But after she shares the spotlight at an awards ceremony with tabloid sensation Jonas Nash, one night of letting her guard down around the infamous quarterback spirals into many heated days and nights together when she gets assigned to the story of the year….

The hottest player in professional football is hiding a secret that could end his career for good. Now Brooks is caught on the sidelines between the job she loves and the man she is falling in love with.

Amazon    B&N    iBooks    KOBO    Harlequin

You can find out more the book and Kristina on her website, and feel free to stalk follow her on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.