Well, not quite, today’s the 12th so The Day - you know the one I’m thinking of. The one
where the commercial world declares that everyone should be more ‘romantic’ and the stores are full
of mass produced red
roses, cards – some in good taste, some with no taste at all – teddy bears with
big red hearts on their chests, boxes of chocolates. . .And it’s the time when,
because I write romance, people start asking me
what does a romance writer give/get for that day.
For Valentine’s Day.
There, I’ve said it. In spite of a private vow to sort of keep silent about it this year, I’ve finally
buckled and mentioned the V word. But I’m going to follow that up by the statement that really and truly I don’t
like, care about or usually even observe Valentine’s Day myself.
I suppose that’s something that might shock some people. I can almost see the headlines ‘Romance
Writer ignores the most romantic day of the year’ – but I have my answer ready
. And that is that I simply don’t see Valentine’s Day as the most romantic day of any year. A day when a partner buys a bunch of red roses because it’s
expected (and they saw them in the shop and thought . . Oops! . . . .) Or when they give a box of chocolates that their lover doesn’t want because she’s fighting to lose weight. And I really really don’t want a huge
teddy bear with a big red heart. No really I don’t!
This year in particular the emphasis on one day for making a
fuss and buying gifts to ‘show your love’ seems slightly hollow to
me. I’ve never been a fan of mass
marketing and as I think I’ve mentioned before, I don’t actually like red roses
– golden ones are different, I had those in my wedding bouquet and my DH will
sometimes surprise me with a bouquet of those ‘because I saw these and thought
of you.’ Now that’s much more
romantic.
So why this year does this make me feel even more strongly?
Well, I don’t know about you but it does
seem that since 2016 dawned we’ve had a string of sad announcements of famous people who have died unexpectedly and some too
soon. David Bowie, Alan Rickman, and here in the UK the much loved broadcaster
Terry Wogan. They’ve all sadly passed away and even more sadly, if inevitable,
they’ve left behind a grieving partner who
had been with them for years and years.
One of the UK papers today had an article about the fact
that ‘romance’ seems to be touted as only for the young, To quote the article in the Daily Mail: In the
literature of love, anyone past the first flush of youth is doomed to mockery,
humiliation and sharp regret. Deceived husbands, betrayed wives, deluded old
fools led a merry dance by manipulative young minxes - from Chaucer and
Shakespeare to Auden and Larkin, the message is clear: wooing is not for
wrinklies.
This is in response to a new book of Poems by Christopher
Matthew titled A Bus Pass Named Desire.
I’ll have to be honest here and say, well, yes, the novels I
wrote do tend to have younger heroes and heroines. I haven’t written about older characters. But
that’s not because I don’t believe in the idea – and the fact - of ‘wrinkly romance’ (horrible term!) The
truth is that I’m living it myself. My
husband and I celebrate our 43rd wedding anniversary this year. And
we’d been together for two years before that big day.
To me there is something hugely romantic in the proper sense of the term – romantic
and loving about the relationship of two people who have been
together through thick and thin for years and years. They’ve loved each other as young ones. They’ve
been through the newly married stage,
the new parents, the teenage angst (their children not the husband and wife!)
the empty nest syndrome . . . And that’s why those losses of well known characters has been particularly
poignant this year.
David Bowie had been with Iman for 25+
years. Alan Rickman met his partner –
later wife - Rima when he was 19 and she
just 18. They were still together at his death at 69 . Terry Wogan
married his wife Helen – the ‘only woman he ever loved’ in 1965.
That’s romance. That’s the lifetime of love and togetherness
and Happy Ever After I wish for my heroes and heroines – and my friends and
family. It’s the sort of loving that, sadly,
inevitably leads to a loss that nothing else can fill. But it’s truly special
and those every day 24/7, 52 weeks a year moments of love are more romantic
than an impulse buy of red roses.
I’m not a total ‘Valentine’s Scrooge’ thought. I hope
everyone has a lovely day on the 14th. I hope that you and your
partner share some truly lovely and loving moments on that day – and all the
days around it and following it. I hope
you have some days that are truly romantic for you and not
just what mass marketing says ‘romance’ is on a particular date this year.
Because the truth is that as David Bowie’s wife Iman posted
on Twitter just before we learned of her husband’s death on January 10th
Sometimes you will
never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory.
I wish you the happiest of memories of this Valentine’s Day
however you celebrate it.
My most recent book is Destined For The Desert King - out in Harlequin Presents in December. I've just sent in the revisions on my latest book
where my brooding Spanish hero meets up again with Rose the girl who knocked his life off balance ten years ago and I'm waiting to hear what my editor thinks of it.
And I'm thrilled to be able to say that my other 2015 title, Olivero's Outrageous Proposal has been re released in the Mills & Boon collection The Best of 2015.
I'll have to make do with looking back at the photos we took during our last holiday in Florence. I love the city, and can't wait to go back. There's something for everyone: centuries of history on display, (usually) wonderful weather, friendly people, stunning scenery, and of course the amazing artwork in the Uffizi gallery. 
