Somewhere along the way I lost my facility with words. It was right around the time I had children. If you’re not a parent, you might not know about the post-partum phenomenon of fuzzy mommy brain (not a technical term, but a decent description IMHO). I think part of the syndrome is hormonal, although I have no scientific evidence to back that up.
Beyond the possible hormone connection, the bigger part of my post-pregnancy verbal issues was simply a lack of practice with words. After working hard at my Master’s program (in English lit, keep in mind) and teaching English at the college level, I was glad to take a little time off after I had a few kids. In fact, I was thrilled. My days consisted of Sesame Street and taking long walks while pushing a stroller, and that was quite alright with me. Problem was, I had next to no adult conversation during that time period and I certainly didn’t have any deep, thoughtful conversations that required meaningful contemplation.
Let’s face it, when you’re knee deep in diapers and truckloads of laundry, it’s all you can do sometimes to catch a shower during the day let alone find time for intellectual stimulation. So I forgive myself for going a bit brain dead during that time. But it’s scary when you’re use to expressing yourself intelligently and all of the sudden you find yourself pausing for long moments during a phone conversation, unable to find the right word. My family would try guessing what I wanted to say since I lost all talent for formulating a thought into words. Sometimes I’d wake up from a nap three hours after a phone conversation like that and the word I’d wanted would come to me. Talk about slow processing time!
After a few of those incidents, I realized what was happening. Verbal facility isn’t like riding a bike where, once you learn, you never forget. A flare with words is a skill that requires exercise. Practice. Immersion. And as much as I loved Sesame Street, Elmo wasn’t working with me at the verbal level I needed to stay sharp.
I started reading more. Working on the occasional crossword puzzle. But most of all, I used my new epiphany to get back to writing. I’d started a novel around the time I started grad school but then got away from it as I got busy with course work. Now that I’d taken a bit of a breather, I got out my old notes from the project and pursued it in earnest.It didn’t take long before my words came back, helped along by daily writing and by meeting writer friends who wanted to talk about characters, conflicts and plots. I immersed myself in language and stories all over again and it was like coming home. I felt recharged and rejuvenated, intelligent and whole once more.
*** Did you ever have those space-out moments as a new mom or has anyone close to you gone through the fuzzy brain months? Share your experiences on the board for a chance to win Joanne’s sexy new May Blaze, UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL. Winner chosen at random from all posters.
