Thursday, May 19, 2016

Maggie Marr: Nana's In Mexico

So my 70-something mother has embarked on a big adventure. She's moved to Mexico. Not as in 'New' but as in 'south of the border' Mexico. Now I love Mexico. They have great beaches and who doesn't love a place that makes tequila and invented the margarita. Throw in the food and you've got yourself a party. No, it's not that I don't want my mom to live in Mexico...well actually I didn't. I didn't want Mom, or as my children call her, Nana, to de camp from Denver, Colorado to Mexico. 

Our conversation went something like this:

Mom: "Why not?" 

Me: "Where should I start?' 

Mom: "I don't know. It's a beach." 

Me: "You don't speak Spanish." 

Mom: "So."

Me: "You have a heart condition." 


Me: "You're over seventy." 

Mom: "Not getting any younger, am I?" 

Me: "What if something happens?" 

Mom: "Something always happens." 

Ah, yes. Typing the above, I can see that Mom moving to Mexico and the *many* *many* conversations we had prior to her departure were really preparation for when my daughter becomes a teenager later this year. I'm over here having hot flashes, my daughter is contemplating her first bra, and my seventy-plus Mom is sipping tequila on a beach. 

What's interesting about the above, that I'm no longer in how this adventure has invigorated my mother. My mom has what her doctor's affectionately call 'drop dead syndrome' heck'uv a name right? Don't need to ask too many questions about that one do you? Yes, her heart has a low capacity and she has a defibrillator implanted in her chest. She gets a macabre kick of telling me after each cardiologist appointment how many times her heart got shocked while she slept--which only happens when her heart stops.  "Didn't even feel it!" She chortles while I turn green. Without that lovely piece of hardware, most likely she would have died from one of those heart-stopping moments long ago. Mom's doctors were completely on board and excited about her choice to move to Mexico...they each mentioned, several times, that it's the 'excitement of life' that keeps many people going as they age and through disease. They spoke of how many people, who are told they have a disease, go home and seem to 'wait to die' and it's the people who actually go out and plan big adventures that seem to keep on living. 

So, Nana is in Mexico. And she's happy. Really really happy. While I still have some fears, I go down often and she rides the train up to see us here in LA. I've made my grudging peace with Nana's Adventure. I realize that it is her happiness and joy...her adventure that keeps her going on and on and on and I also realize that it is her life to live. Vive La Mexico!

I leave you with a view from Nana's condo....


Mia said...

Oh the learning to let go of the "what ifs" of life. So scary. "What if no one ever wants/reads/sees/buys my book/play/painting/home?" "What if someone does do any one of those things?"

I love the view.

Let's go down for a writing week.

Just sayin'

Jennifer Willison said...

Pretty view, so peaceful