Sunday, November 27, 2011

Occupying at Home

I am not brave enough for civil disobedience. In fact, I'm not brave enough to get to the airport less than two hours before a flight. I pay my taxes on time, and I pay contractors, even when the job isn't done right or even completely. I go to the dentist twice a year, though I do decline the x-rays. However, that may cease as I have recently suffered a toothache. I guess I'll be back on that plan of action, too.

While I grumble and moan and complain under my breath about deadlines, I turn in my grades at the college I teach at before the due date, order my textbooks by the 15th of April and October for my classes, and sign up to serve on the correct number of committees.

I follow along, pretty much, doing what I'm supposed to. My first husband is like that, too, so it was much to both our surprise that our older son turned out to be a disobeyer from the beginning. I would tell my son to stop, he would go. I would say turn right, he would turn left. I'd ask him to do his homework, and he'd play video games. He'd subvert all that could be subverted until his house of cards toppled, and then he did what he needed to restack the deck and get out and away from us rule followers.

In college, he was asked to leave the dorms and never come back because he and a friend howled Howl from the literal rooftop.

After college graduation, he graduated to bigger insurrections, protesting war and democracy and capitalism. At first, he and I were still so connected that all his disobedience was personal to me, something I had to handle. I posted bail when he was arrested at a war protest, went to hearings, worried myself sick. Segue to now--the last time he was arrested, I let his pals deal with it, and they did.

His disobedience is no longer mine. I can go back to turning in my grades.

Society has always had evils. Those who long have had it all still have it all. We are a cruel and inhuman bunch, we humans. We steal and wreck and and mess up. Society needs people to fight and protest and call attention to the vast wrongs everywhere, but I am finally okay with saying I'm not the one to do it. I'll write about how I feel and let my readers see my side of things, but I'm not going down to live in the center of a city in a tent. Call me lazy or selfish or complacent, which all may be true. But in this lifetime, I'm the one watching the protest, appreciating the struggle, but not wanting to join in.


Onto other news: My latest ebook is up. Forgotten is the story about what happens to a family when what is forgotten is the most precious thing of all.

I'll give away five e-copies of this novel to the first five folks who write to me from my web site.

1 comment:

Michele L. said...

Wow, Jessica. Well, I have a brother who totally has checked out on our family. He has been mad at me and my husband for some time, we don't know why and he won't tell us. We have theorized what it might be but he won't say yes or no, and won't talk to us.

He also won't talk to my other brother and says that he is the cause of all his problems. Jon doesn't know what he did and he won't tell him. Jon has been more than generous to him, loaned him money, helped him out when he needed it, and they were very good friends until whatever caused my brother to turn his back on his whole family. We just let him live his life the way he wants to and we just don't worry about him. He even doesn't want anything to do with my mom which is pretty sad. She is a sweet thing who would love to hear from her son and would love for him to visit. I know it is tough but what can you do but love them from a far and pray for the best.