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Monday, March 10, 2008

Why do Women Fantasize? by Jasmine Haynes

Hah! You probably started reading thinking I had the answer! I don’t, sorry to say. Instead, I wanted to explore that question with you. Why do we fantasize? What do we fantasize about?

Because I’m a writer of erotic romance, a friend recently said to me that he thought my genre was equivalent to porn for men. Some women might find that comparison insulting, but he didn’t mean it that way at all. We were simply discussing the new popularity of the genre. Of course, just as men (and women!) watch pornography, I do believe one reason women read erotic romance or erotic fiction is the titillation factor. But I also think erotica taps into a woman’s universal fantasies, too. The stories allow them to explore things they would never actually do, but that they find exciting on some level. Maybe it’s simply a way for them to get away from the routine of their lives for the moment. Let’s face it, we’re all rushing around trying to accomplish a million different things, and sometimes we just need to chill with a sexy book. I like a shot of erotic romance in the bathtub accompanied by dark chocolate and a champagne cocktail. Afterward, I feel renewed.

Beyond the titillation, I also believe some of the stories we read tap into universal womanhood. That’s why I think we have common fantasies. There’s the older man fantasy or the younger man fantasy or the professor fantasy or the bondage fantasy or the cop fantasy. Does it mean we want to bribe the cop with sex to let us out of that speeding ticket? No. It means there is something in that kind of story that taps into our emotions, into who we are universally as well as individually.

And that’s what I’d like to hear about from those of you brave enough to tell all. What universal fantasies appeal to you and why? Whatever you have to say will definitely be food for thought in my future books, believe me! Please do keep it clean, nothing explicit, just general.

Of course, my books are chock full of my fantasies. But, to be fair, I should share one here. I think being tied up and blindfolded would be exciting. Why? Because then I would have to give up control. And for a control freak like me, that’s appealing.

BTW, I don’t want to dis any male readers, so you should feel free to share.

Jasmine Haynes, The Fortune Hunter
http://www.skullybuzz.com/
Don’t miss my monthly website contest going on now!

9 comments:

Crystal Adkins said...

HI Jennifer! What a great blog! I can tell you the reason why I love erotica..because it lets me experience things that I am either too shy for or things that my husband would not do. It also brings something new to the forefront of my mind..like a sexy fireman with a little soot smudged on his cheek, sweeping me up into his arms to have his way with me. I just like the change..the muscular men with sexy smiles or sexy eyes do it for me.
Don't get me wrong, I love my husband very much..but lets just say if he waltzed in with a fireman's outfit on or an army outfit..he better plan on not leaving the bed for the rest of the night LOL!!

Jasmine Haynes said...

I love the fireman fantasy, Crystal! And ooh, a man wearing army fatigues... There's just something about a uniform that says "ALPHA" in big old capital letters. I also agree, having a fantasy doesn't mean we don't love our husbands. It's just...fun.

Maybe you should give him a hint to do a little role playing.

Thanks for dropping by, Crystal!

Jasmine Haynes, The Fortune Hunter
http://www.skullybuzz.com
Don’t miss my monthly website contest going on now!

Michelle Monkou said...

My fantasies have changed along with my age. I remember when Conan, the Barbarian came out and I had to sneak into the theater to see it with my friends (all six times!!!). Then I tried Anne Rice's erotica when I was married, but that was a little too extreme, plus I didn't know what half the stuff was - LOL. Now I'm a tired mom, wife, writer, and on and on, and so any trips to a deserted island with a daily dose of sexy types works for me.

Michelle

Jasmine Haynes said...

Haha! I like the deserted island with various sexy types, Michelle! I agree totally agree that fantasies changes as we grow older. Although I do think I've always had the uniform fantasy!

Jasmine Haynes, The Fortune Hunter
http://www.skullybuzz.com
Don’t miss my monthly website contest going on now!

Jane said...

Hi Jasmine,
I think my fantasy will include a military man. Doesn't matter what branch of service he's in. Must be the uniform thing you've mentioned.

DeeSKnight said...

Hey, Skully! Great blog.

I also hate being out of control, but I don't think being tied up would do it for me--there's only so much command I'm willing to share, lol.

Blindfolded might be all right, but the fantasy that really does it for me is being watched. Not necessarily having sex in public but someone knowing what I do in private--the man across the alley sees me touch myself, or someone stands in the corner while the action is taking place on the bed.

And now I have to say it's a good thing my mother isn't going to read this blog! :)

Jasmine Haynes said...

Definitely sounds like the man in uniform thing is universal, Jane!

Dee, you hit it on the head with being "watched," another universal. I won't be giving too much away to say that the opening sex scene in my next book, "Show and Tell," features your universal fantasy!

Now, I'm off to email your mom and tell her to read this blog. LOL!

Jasmine Haynes, The Fortune Hunter
http://www.skullybuzz.com
Don’t miss my monthly website contest going on now!

Gigi said...

Hi Jasmine,
My favorite fantasys are of being rescued and being kidnapped by a great looking pirate. I grew up in the days of the good ole bodice rippers and have always day dreamed the pirate fantasy.
I learned so much from Bertrice Small in those days.
One of the reasons I read erotica is just to escape the everyday happenings of life. I get to imagine living an exciting life between the pages of a good HOT book.

Jasmine Haynes said...

Ooh, the pirate fantasy. Yes, Gigi, that's a great one, too.

And really, isn't that the best thing about books, the fact that we can live out our fantasies in the pages. And it's completely safe!

Jasmine Haynes, The Fortune Hunter
http://www.skullybuzz.com
Don’t miss my monthly website contest going on now!