Friday, June 01, 2007

Friendship - by Lee Hyat

I've been told I should blog so I'm going to give it a try. I thought I was being clever when I decided to give it a go because I'm going to run a contest but now that it comes down to it, I find myself feeling awfully unsure about what to say or how to say it.

I've spent a lot of time lately sifting through memories from the last few years and I'm totally amazed at how far I've come emotionally, mentally and in every other way that matters most. If you'd asked me a few years ago if I had lots of good friends, I'd have said, No. I have acquaintances, but no really good friends.

Things have changed - touch wood - and I'm so much richer today than I was back then in the friend department. I have friends. Really good friends. Friends who care and call and keep in touch and generally look out for me because I'm still so naive in many many ways. It's a warm fuzzy feeling when you can pick up the phone and always have someone to call who will put aside her busy schedule and take ten minutes (or more, considering most of my phone conversations are never short!) and listen to me pour my heart out.

I also realized that all my friends, in one way or another, are bad girls. They all push the envelope in some way or another. They shoot from the hip and dare to dream. They dare me to dream and support me every step of the way. They don't let me hide behind my armor of timidity or take the easy way out. I'd be so lost without them. Truly lost.

One such friend, who is really important to me, is the lovely Susanna Carr. She's bright and warm and funny and she's big on qualities like loyalty and support which rank very high in my book. She may not always agree with my point of view but she's always been there when I needed a friend. I love her sense of humor - it's helped me see the light at the end of the tunnel more times than even she herself is aware of. She's the quiet type but she's also very gutsy and full of the bad girl attitude that I so love.

I hope all of you are just as wealthy in the friendship department. It's so wonderful to make friendships that withstand the tests of time and really last. They can bring such a great feeling of satisfaction and contentment. The internet has several definitions for the true meaning of friendship but I think for each of us, it's totally unique and can't be pinned down to one standard meaning.

So, for my contest, I'd love to hear from you about what friendship means to you. What are some of the qualities you look for in a friend? Are your friends bad girls too? Are you a bad girl? :) Lots of choices here on what to comment on so please jump in. I'd love to hear from authors as well - authors are readers too so my contest is open to anyone and everyone who wants to join the conversation!

On June 8th, I'll pick five winners from the people who comment and each of you will receive, a copy of Susanna's BAD GIRL BRIDESMAIDS... (which, I'm sooo proud to say is dedicated to me!) So please, let's talk about friendship.


Lois said...

Oh geez, I haven't had friends in ages. LOL Well, I think they have to have a certain level of craziness as I do. . . I'm a bit strange with the combination of my likes and all, the stuff that I can go on an on about that it would be rather nice if they understood it. Don't have to like the stuff I do, just not mind when I go nuts over it all. ;) LOLOL


Mary said...

I have a couple of close friends, but I'm not a real people person. I'm shy and introverted and they are always trying to get me to go out and do things. I have alot more friends online that I talk to on a regular basis and can call or have them call me anytime. I like so many different things and it's hard to find people that like the same things I do. I might find one person who likes horror while another likes romance but not one that likes both. I like romance books, horror movies, rodents and crafts.

Stacy S said...

Friendship means you can be as honest as you want. You always have someone thats gonna tell you like it is. And its nice if they like some of the same things as you. Like reading.

Mona said...

I don't think that I have friends the way I actually imagined them to be. I mean I've got acquaintances and two close friends that I speak my mind to but deep inside I feel they're not that close. When you said you might pick up the phone and know there's someone you'd be able to call and she'll have time for you. That doesn't apply in my case, I could pick up the phone and think who to call and I might put it down without making that call. I think as bad as that sounds time have moved on for all of them while it didn't for me. They still listen and talk back but I can't help feeling that I need them more than they need me. I think friendship is everything when it's heading its right direction. I still have my friends and we still talk but I can't help feeling something is missing

Laura Drewry said...

Wow - great topic, Lee! I think a true friend is unlike anything else in the world. I read a joke somewhere that summed it up pretty well (and this isn't verbatim, so excuse me if I mess it up a little).

A friend will come and bail you out of jail. A true friend will be there beside you saying "Dang, that was fun!"

Pam said...

A true friend is always there to support you, whether they agree with you or not, even if you haven't touched base for a long period of time. Also, they aren't afraid to tell it like it is when you need to hear that but don't want to. When you haven't been able to meet up as often as you'd like due to distance, but finally can, you pick right up just like it was yesterday.

mammakim said...

I have a circle of friends that get together every weekend. It is four girls, their husbands and children. On Friday morning we all start emailing about where we are meeting and what we are doing for the night. We also go on camping trips together during the summer and we all host a Christmas party with our families intertwined. I think the biggest thing about our circle of friends is that we are all there for each other. If one of us has to be somewhere and there is no one to watch the kids one of them steps up and says drop him off at my house what is one more?? emotionally you can vent, share your happy thought, hmmmm evil thoughts and just have a weekending get together to wind down.

Pat L. said...

I have a few very good friends. We can hang out w/o makeup and still feel good, we are there for each no matter what, laugh and cry together.

If Susanna is as good a friend as are her books, you have a winner.

Pat L. said...

P.S. Forgot to say - I am a good girl and so are my friends pretty much.

one6ylady said...

I have tons of acquaintances, a couple dozen really good friends, a handful of true friends, and one best friend, Evie. Evie and I met on an Air Force Base just six days before the start of my senior year of high school. In fact, we met my first day on the base as a military brat. Within 10 minutes of meting each other, we knew we were destined to be friends forever. We share our families with each other, and we call ourselves soul sisters. We've always had this strange connection that lets us know when the other is in need of kind words, a hearty congratulations or a strong shoulder to cry on. I can't tell you how many hundreds of times one of us has picked up the phone to reach the other only to either find them already on the line having just dialed us, or picking up the other line before the phone even rings. Evie lived in Indiana while I was in Germany, and then she moved to Florida while I was in Germany, Pennsylvania, and finally Delaware. We only see each other about once every 6-10 years, but the connection between us is as strong as if we lived next door to each other in the same town. This is what "best friend" means to me, and this is what friendship is all about. I want to cringe when I hear my daughter spout this commercialized BFF stuff all over the place, changing new BFFs every week. I only hope and pray that one day she has a soul sister like mine.

deseng said...

Hi Lee,

What is a friend? I feel a friend is a person who will be there for you through thick or thin. Not a fairweather friend that only knows you when they need something.

I have many friends that I can honestly say that would help me out if I needed it. One such friend has always kept in touch with me ever since I was laid off 4 years ago. We worked together at the same place. We go out to lunch all the time, we celebrate each others birthdays with presents, dinners, etc. I have another friend who I go with to concerts and plays. We both love all kinds of music and plays so we take turns driving. We have a fantastic time!

A friend is a special person you can just hang out with on your front porch. Who will laugh at your jokes, who tells you when you need to lose some weight, (ha, ha!), who isn't afraid to tell you to take a reality check (when you are being bad), and just to be there when you need them to comfort you through a bad time.

I love all my friends. They are special to me, each and every one of them!

Michele (I would consider myself a good girl who only likes to be bad in private)

Liz Fielding said...

A friend is someone who, when you call after a long gap, doesn't say "Where have you been?"

She says "How lovely to hear from you. How are you doing? Tell me everything."


CrystalG said...

I have a few close friends.
What I look for in a friend is someone who I have some of the same interests, who I can talk to about anything and count on to be there when I need her.
She is there when I need to vent, to laugh, to cry and to help me in a crisis.

bamabelle said...

To me, a friend is someone that you can completely be yourself around, and they like you anyway lol. My best friend has been my friend literally my entire life. Her mother and my mom were best friends before we were born. Though we were mostly friends due to our parents friendship as children, we became true best friends as teens. She is pretty much a "good girl" like me, but my two other closest friends are the "bad girls" so to speak. I had some of the best times of my life with them. :) I've really come to cherish my online friends as well. I've come to know so many people that otherwise I would have never met. The loss would have been mine. Thanks Lee, for sharing the lovely post!

Sue A. said...

Friendship means being there for bad times and the good. It's so easy to be with someone when they're happy and fun to be around, but the real test is sticking by someone when they go through a rough patch.

ChristyJan said...

Lee what a great subject for discussion.

One of my favorite quotes is: "A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway."

I like what sue a. said about friends being there for the good times and the bad times. Several years ago (and still) we had a rough time with our daughter. It was amazing how many of my "friends" backed off and dropped me. It would have been so nice to have someone to talk to and confide in. And, I realize that it is probably hard to know what to say under difficult circumstances, but at the same time, it is hard to feel like people think you have cooties or the plague.
Then there were the "so-called" friends who only wanted to talk to me to find out the latest news - not because they were concerned - just curious.

I have one good friend that I meet on-line several years ago. She and her family have come to our house to visit, and I've gone to stay with her. She's stuck with me through thick and thin. And, even though we are seperated by miles, it's amazing how we can call one another and just pick up where we left off - be it a couple of days, or a couple of months.

I realize you have to BE a friend to have friends and Lee you are a perfect example of this. When I mentioned on-line that my Mom had cancer you CALLED me to check on her - and me. I can't tell you how much that means to me. I have neighbors and in-laws that have not even done that.

Caffey said...

Lee, just beautiful that the book is dedicated to you! COngrats. I know that when I was a reader before the internet, I really had no one to share my interest and all about the love I have for reading. So when I did find out about the internet a few years ago, I've met some people who've become dear friends to me. That share alot of the same joys that I do with reading. But too, we've become to care for one another, share so much with each other and I too feel my life has just bloomed for me. One thing, I'm deaf so before this, it did matter because communication was very difficult and some easily became frustrated. But with communication now, its paved so many ways for me that my not hearing if forgotten because we see what each other is for themselves, their personality, their love for things, etc. So for me, it was so great to open so much communication! And too a few that I knew before the internet, we could keep in touch more.

Mickey said...

Friends and sisters hold a very special place in my life. I'd sometimes be lost without them. I'm so lucky to have the friends I have...some I've know for 50 years!And friends are like books, too! You want some romance, you pick up a romance novel; you wnat some adventure, you get a mystery book that you can't put down til you finish reading it! So with friends, you want to talk, you call a friend you know listens; you want to do something silly, you get your crazy friend to hang with you. And so it goes!

KC said...

I belong to a friendship sorority and have made lots of friends. Our chapter is a very close one. We come from all kinds of backgrounds and have all types of interests. I have known some of the ladies for 25 years and more.

Friends are wonderful to do things with. Our group is very special when a friend needs some assistance. We share books, movies, good times, and bad times. You can always count on each other to be there.

Lee Hyat said...

Wow - great answers! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on friendship. :)

As promised, here are the names of my 5 winners for a copy of BAD GIRL BRIDESMAIDS by Susanna Carr:


If each of you ladies could drop me an email at and let me have your mailing address, I'll get the book on it's way to you. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. :)

For everyone else, thank you so much for sharing. I loved all the answers and you've all convinced me once again that we've got a terrific bunch of readers here on this blog!!


Caffey said...

Thanks Lee! I've been enjoying it here on the blog! And really enjoy Suzanne's books. Thank you both.

deseng said...

Woohoo! Thanks Lee!

I was so excited when I saw my name listed!

Thanks again for the book!


Mary said...

Thanks lee, I can't wait.

Scarlet Wharton said...

I want to be a bad girl..but that probably doe'snt count...I have some really great friends not tons but really special ones and I recently got into a business where I'm meeting like minded people, It's really made me feel like a grown up lately....And by the way Mary theres nothing wrong with horror and romances I do both too. People are always in shock when the see all the conflicting titles on my book shelves but I read everything!